This month marks the end of a season - my son Xavier is no longer breastfeeding. In the beginning i wasn't sure we would even reach our first milestone of 3mths without supplementing with formula and now we got to 18mths. No formula has ever touched his lips.
As of today, it's been just over 3 days since Xavier's last feed and while i knew we were nearly finished with nursing i wasn't sure i was ready to let it go on Monday, but when He had his last feed on Wednesday i felt at ease. We'd come so far together, my body has provided nourishment for him for this long and now begins a new season with more independence for him.
Saturday, 9 April 2011
Monday, 28 March 2011
The opinions of others
Why do we care so much about what other people think? Does their opinion really matter all that much?
Most of my life I've been worried about what other people think of me. Whether I'm doing something they dislike etc but this year i figure screw it! It's about time i start doing what "I" want and not what other people think i should do. I've come to the realisation that some people will always be judgemental and criticise those around them. I've chosen to not let it get to me. This is my life and I'm the one who deals with the consequences should i make a bad decision. I'll learn from it and move on, i always do. I have some amazing supportive friends that are there for me, through the good and the bad decisions in my life, without fail i know i can lean on them if i need to. But it's the negative people that can't help but pick at something your doing, and tell you they think you're crazy or shouldn't be doing it.
At the end of the day, my decisions only really affect myself and my children. And of course whoever else is involved at the time. Don't get me wrong, i'm not about to go out and start making split second decisions, without first giving it some thought. I'm not living that much on the edge, i just figure i'm going to stop worrying about what other people think and say and just do things because I want to and feel its the right thing for me right now. It might all fail and i'll come crashing back down and have to pick myself up, or it could all work out and i'll be glad i did it. Only time will tell :-) Now it's time to think about me, and less about everyone else.
Most of my life I've been worried about what other people think of me. Whether I'm doing something they dislike etc but this year i figure screw it! It's about time i start doing what "I" want and not what other people think i should do. I've come to the realisation that some people will always be judgemental and criticise those around them. I've chosen to not let it get to me. This is my life and I'm the one who deals with the consequences should i make a bad decision. I'll learn from it and move on, i always do. I have some amazing supportive friends that are there for me, through the good and the bad decisions in my life, without fail i know i can lean on them if i need to. But it's the negative people that can't help but pick at something your doing, and tell you they think you're crazy or shouldn't be doing it.
At the end of the day, my decisions only really affect myself and my children. And of course whoever else is involved at the time. Don't get me wrong, i'm not about to go out and start making split second decisions, without first giving it some thought. I'm not living that much on the edge, i just figure i'm going to stop worrying about what other people think and say and just do things because I want to and feel its the right thing for me right now. It might all fail and i'll come crashing back down and have to pick myself up, or it could all work out and i'll be glad i did it. Only time will tell :-) Now it's time to think about me, and less about everyone else.
Sunday, 20 March 2011
One of them weeks
Have you ever had one of them weeks where nothing goes right, no matter how hard you try? That would be me this week. No matter what I do or how hard I try, everything sucks. Everyone that knows me, knows that I’m not a negative, down in the dumps kind of person… rarely am I ever like this, but there’s been so much crap that’s been piled on me this past week, I’ve crumbled under the pressure. I try to be positive, but that’s not working. Everything keeps going wrong.
Firstly, the drama with my mother and sister. I guess it’d been building for a while and my best friend and her husband have known exactly how much I’d been holding back and been walked over… they were amazed I hadn’t broken before now. Then there’s been money dramas, I’ve got bills coming out of everywhere and considering moving house soon, I’m somehow going to have to find more money to do that. I started burning dinner tonight as I walked away for only a minute – thankfully the smoke alarm didn’t start blaring crazily. I made cupcakes tonight for Kailee’s school lunches and they didn’t even cook completely, I made the icing and put too much milk in it and had to fix that too. Kailee was STILL awake an hour past bedtime, telling me she couldn’t go to sleep – Um, maybe if you didn’t keep coming out of your bed Miss Muffet you would be sleeping lol. Xavier had gotten onto the computer while I was making dinner and pressed goodness knows what and my screen wouldn’t work. Well it was working, but once Windows had loaded, all I could see what a plain black screen unless i was in Safe Mode. After stressing for a while and not wanting to even be near the computer, I did a system restore from safe mode and thankfully my computer is back to normal *phew*. And as I’m typing this, Xavier has woken up and is crying from his bed. For the past few days he’s been sleeping right through the night without waking and crying. *sigh* Poor Matt is sick too at the moment and I feel like there’s nothing I can do to help. I feel useless. He hasn’t been his happy self and I try not to take it personally if he seems annoyed at me for something as trivial as talking while he’s watching TV. I haven’t seen much of him this weekend but hopefully he’s feeling better soon and we’ll get some quality time to spend together. (I <3 u hunni!!)
My amazing best friend, Serena has been worrying about how I’ve been coping, I guess because she can’t be close by. It’s times like these I feel that void that being away from her leaves…. but we’re only a phone call apart. I can tell her anything, everything. I know she worries about some things I unload on her when we talk, and I try to tell her I’m ok, but she doesn’t buy it. She knows when something just isn’t right. She’s been there for the good times in my life and she’s been there to see me crash and burn. Her dedication never fails. She’s the one person I can rely on and know that she’s always going to be there when I need her. I don’t want her to worry, but I know she does it because she cares. So after talking on the phone tonight and having her literally nearly wet herself laughing at how much of an epic fail my cooking was, I’m feeling a little bit better. (Let me just say, I can cook, usually lol For some reason though, tonight no matter what I tried, it sucked.)
So here’s hoping when I finally crawl into bed tonight all the disappointments from this past week will be gone and I’ll wake up with a more positive outlook on a new week
One can only hope anyway.
Firstly, the drama with my mother and sister. I guess it’d been building for a while and my best friend and her husband have known exactly how much I’d been holding back and been walked over… they were amazed I hadn’t broken before now. Then there’s been money dramas, I’ve got bills coming out of everywhere and considering moving house soon, I’m somehow going to have to find more money to do that. I started burning dinner tonight as I walked away for only a minute – thankfully the smoke alarm didn’t start blaring crazily. I made cupcakes tonight for Kailee’s school lunches and they didn’t even cook completely, I made the icing and put too much milk in it and had to fix that too. Kailee was STILL awake an hour past bedtime, telling me she couldn’t go to sleep – Um, maybe if you didn’t keep coming out of your bed Miss Muffet you would be sleeping lol. Xavier had gotten onto the computer while I was making dinner and pressed goodness knows what and my screen wouldn’t work. Well it was working, but once Windows had loaded, all I could see what a plain black screen unless i was in Safe Mode. After stressing for a while and not wanting to even be near the computer, I did a system restore from safe mode and thankfully my computer is back to normal *phew*. And as I’m typing this, Xavier has woken up and is crying from his bed. For the past few days he’s been sleeping right through the night without waking and crying. *sigh* Poor Matt is sick too at the moment and I feel like there’s nothing I can do to help. I feel useless. He hasn’t been his happy self and I try not to take it personally if he seems annoyed at me for something as trivial as talking while he’s watching TV. I haven’t seen much of him this weekend but hopefully he’s feeling better soon and we’ll get some quality time to spend together. (I <3 u hunni!!)
My amazing best friend, Serena has been worrying about how I’ve been coping, I guess because she can’t be close by. It’s times like these I feel that void that being away from her leaves…. but we’re only a phone call apart. I can tell her anything, everything. I know she worries about some things I unload on her when we talk, and I try to tell her I’m ok, but she doesn’t buy it. She knows when something just isn’t right. She’s been there for the good times in my life and she’s been there to see me crash and burn. Her dedication never fails. She’s the one person I can rely on and know that she’s always going to be there when I need her. I don’t want her to worry, but I know she does it because she cares. So after talking on the phone tonight and having her literally nearly wet herself laughing at how much of an epic fail my cooking was, I’m feeling a little bit better. (Let me just say, I can cook, usually lol For some reason though, tonight no matter what I tried, it sucked.)
So here’s hoping when I finally crawl into bed tonight all the disappointments from this past week will be gone and I’ll wake up with a more positive outlook on a new week
One can only hope anyway.
A new look and new name
Since my attitude to pretty much everything has changed over the past few months, i felt my blog needed a new look - and a new name, now "Loved by Three". I even decided to go through all the messing around that goes with getting my own webpage and uploading my blog to it. Now that was a task and a half. While i've known a little about html and css coding, i've certainly learnt a bunch more over the past 2 or 3 days. Here i was (crazily) thinking it would be a piece of cake, and now i have learnt there is ALOT of tweaking involved. I'm mentally exhausted now lol. Google has become my best friend through this whole process and i have surely become more appreciative of those nerdy guys and girls that get paid to create webpages for people and businesses. This stuff is over my head!!
Anyhow, hopefully everyone likes the new look and the new name. I'm off to find fun and exciting things to blog about. xx
Anyhow, hopefully everyone likes the new look and the new name. I'm off to find fun and exciting things to blog about. xx
Friday, 18 March 2011
I have legs!
I have always known that i have legs, but now i can feel it. Every little move i make hurts. Its been about 2yrs since i last went to the gym so my first session back on Thursday was a killer. I knew I'd feel it afterwards, but oh my goodness, i feel pain in places i didn't remember could hurt. My arms, legs, knees n even chest hurts. No pain no gain right? I swear i don't even feel this sore after 2 nights of zumba. Walking down just a couple of steps is now a horrendous task. I know it'll be good after a couple of weeks at the gym and i won't be feeling nearly as bad as i do now, but at this point i'd like to stay in bed until my muscles stop hurting.
I have such great intentions of going back and working my butt off again on Monday so i really hope my legs are feeling a little less sore. It'll be interesting to see how Xavier copes in the childminding - poor little guy hates being away from him Mummy.
I have such great intentions of going back and working my butt off again on Monday so i really hope my legs are feeling a little less sore. It'll be interesting to see how Xavier copes in the childminding - poor little guy hates being away from him Mummy.
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
And the childishness continues...
Most people who know me know that i come from a large family, while my mother had 3 kids my dad had 11. So my previous post about family could have meant either of my 5 sisters...i have no need to mention names, or to be spiteful in that manner. I'm trying to be the mature adult here since no one else seems to be at the moment.
My house phone rang at 11.50pm last nite while both the kids and i were sleeping. The answering machine kicked in and the caller (forementioned family member) nastily demanded i call them back. Not at this hour i won't. I text back n said my 2 kids were sleeping and not to call again at this hour. So what does this person do? Calls my mobile. Telling me to take down one of my blogs or I'll be in trouble with the police for defamation. For starters hunni, i didn't once mention ur name and i doubt they'll care about little me's blog. Again, she accuses me of lying, n carries on like a complete bogan even going as far as to threaten to come around and punch me in the face. Yeah, like that's real mature.
It's no wonder i want nothing to do with them and want to protect my kids from being exposed to that. I used to think my family was pretty awesome, now i see its just messed up. I'm above all that crap though and won't let it drag me down. My life is too good at the moment to let a select few ruin it for me.
My house phone rang at 11.50pm last nite while both the kids and i were sleeping. The answering machine kicked in and the caller (forementioned family member) nastily demanded i call them back. Not at this hour i won't. I text back n said my 2 kids were sleeping and not to call again at this hour. So what does this person do? Calls my mobile. Telling me to take down one of my blogs or I'll be in trouble with the police for defamation. For starters hunni, i didn't once mention ur name and i doubt they'll care about little me's blog. Again, she accuses me of lying, n carries on like a complete bogan even going as far as to threaten to come around and punch me in the face. Yeah, like that's real mature.
It's no wonder i want nothing to do with them and want to protect my kids from being exposed to that. I used to think my family was pretty awesome, now i see its just messed up. I'm above all that crap though and won't let it drag me down. My life is too good at the moment to let a select few ruin it for me.
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
Family - or lack thereof
fam·i·ly
* any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins
______________________________________
I'm so over my family. Over the years there has been nothing but drama - backstabbing, fighting, bitching, judging, criticising, etc. Last night, I had enough. After confiding in my mother about my sister's extra-curricular activities, she went back and told my sister what I had said - except she put her own spin on what I had actually said. So last night my sister went off the deep end about something I had apparently said to mum, which wasn't true at all. Now if there's one thing I cannot stand my children being exposed to, it's arguments. I do not like anyone yelling, screaming and carrying on in front of them, and usually if I am going to argue with someone, I will take it to another room so they don't have to see or hear all that hostility. This time though, they saw everything. I'm ashamed to admit, I didn't hold back either. I was so angry that what I had said was twisted around, I yelled and I screamed. I was furious! I haven't been this mad in a long time. So I had my sister yelling at me, then mum was yelling at me and it was just going back and forwards - I told them I wanted to leave. Mum could either take me home or I would walk with the kids. Either way, I was leaving. My sister told me that I could walk and the kids would stay there.... Um, I don't think so!
.
So, I made the decision that if they can disrespect me in front of my kids like that, then they have no regard for my children and don't deserve the right to be in our lives. We don't need this crap. For too long I have dealt with being treated like rubbish (don't get me wrong though, I do my fair share of treating other people like crap too), and yet still helping them out with money and being there for everyone. Now I've had enough. I'm sick of being hurt and feeling like I can't rely on my family when it really counts. I'm sick of feeling let down when they say they can help and never follow through on it.
After telling them to stay out of my life and leave me alone, I get nasty text messages from my mother on my mobile. Then I get nasty Facebook messages from her. Then she makes horrible comments on my best friend, Serena's Facebook page. I could ignore all this childishness until she made the comment to Serena.... that was below the belt. It was directed at something so personal, something that was none of anyone's business. I was so mad I had to walk away from the computer, away from my phone, just so that i wouldn't call my mother or send her a message and tell her just what I really thought of her. I went and did some baking, I hung out the washing..... the anger just wouldn't go away. I messaged my mother and told her she was out of line and needed to remove her comment and quickly before Serena's family (and more importantly, Serena's brother) saw it. Unfortunately, he had already read it - but was mature about it and didn't give her the satisfaction of replying. (You're awesome Chris!!)
As my day went on, I got a few more text messages saying how low I am for getting my friends to attack her (WTF!?!) and how nasty I am. I told her to stop texting me. So far I haven't received anymore messages - thank goodness. Now hopefully I can get on with my night. At least I know I can work off some frustration and stress at my Zumba class tonight. I'm so amazed at how childish some people can be.... I'm over playing nice now though. I'm not going to be walked all over or treated like crap anymore.... it's time I stand up for myself and fight back.
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