Computers, pets and a pain-in-the ass boyfriend

It seems like an eternity since i have last posted anything on this blog. For some reason my wordpress app on my mobile has been coming up with some error when i try to connect and it's been driving me absolutely crazy. And when it's not giving me an error, i just can't be bothered typing out something half-intelligent, if i could muster up anything at all. Anyway, after more than 6wks of living in our new place, finally i set up my computer and feel fairly human again. I've been pretty slack and mostly been surfing the net on my mobile, which drives me crazy cuz u can hardly see a thing since it's so tiny.

So, tonight i have been ready to strangle someone and at the same exact moment, just about roll on the floor laughing. I thank God each and every day for my boyfriend Matt who not only drives me around the bend but makes me laugh more than anyone else possibly could. Sometimes it's impossible to be mad with him when i just want to laugh at how much he stirs me for something completely trivial. I'm sure most of the things he does is just to annoy me lol He drops a big bombshell tonight, but with the most upbeat attitude - i wanted to kneecap him so bad. Then he tells me since i didn't vacuum today, he'll be ok to let the dog in (who sheds so much that i'm amazed he still has hair on his body - ok maybe a slight exaggeration lol).... let me just clarify, i DID in fact vacuum this afternoon. So after saying i didn't want the dog inside, he lets the bloody animal in while i'm washing the dinner dishes. OMG this man frustrates me - but i can hear him in the lounge room telling the dog to sit still so i don't make him go outside. (Just imagine him doing this in a baby-ish kind of voice that you would hear a grandmother use when talking to a 3mth old baby...... yep that's how he talks to the dog). I fight the urge to strangle him (Matt, not the poor animal that doesn't understand lol), whilst at the same time fighting the urge to laugh. I don't want Matt to think he's funny - no doubt he'll read this and just nod, like the world has finally realised what he's known all along. *pfft*

Regardless of how much of a ginormous pain in the ass he is, i couldn't be happier. I can't ever remember being this content, happy or loved in any relationship i've been in. No doubt, at the time i thought i was happy and in love - but in the back of my mind, there was always something that was bugging me. I'm pretty sure there's nothing bugging me atm - but wait until another moment when Matt annoys me and i might just find something. No doubt he'll shit me again by the time the night ends. Good thing the bedroom is at the other end of the house to the kitchen - i may just stab him lol. (I'm starting to realise that my blog is getting a tad "violent" with all this talk of kneecapping and stabbing. Rest assured ppl, i will not stab or kneecap Matt........ or will I?) :-P So the man is crazy, an absolutely nutter - but i love him. Why you probably ask... *shrugs* beats me, i just kinda do. Hopefully in 20years i'll still be talking about wanting to beat him with a stick for something stupid he's done or for the old decrepit dog still shedding hair all over the carpet. So, just to give a little back of what i get - i left the vacuum in the middle of the lounge room for Matt to see when he went to watch tv - no doubt when i go out, it'll be left somewhere stupid, like in the middle of the kitchen for me to move. At least it'll be amusing :-D Never a dull moment in this relationship that's for sure.

Well, since my butt is getting numb i should stop feeding this man's ego about how funny he can be (rarely), and go get ready to crawl into my warm bed. I'm sure there'll come another moment of stupidity from this house before too long. Until then....

The end of a season

This month marks the end of a season - my son Xavier is no longer breastfeeding. In the beginning i wasn't sure we would even reach our first milestone of 3mths without supplementing with formula and now we got to 18mths. No formula has ever touched his lips.

As of today, it's been just over 3 days since Xavier's last feed and while i knew we were nearly finished with nursing i wasn't sure i was ready to let it go on Monday, but when He had his last feed on Wednesday i felt at ease. We'd come so far together, my body has provided nourishment for him for this long and now begins a new season with more independence for him.

The opinions of others

Why do we care so much about what other people think? Does their opinion really matter all that much?

Most of my life I've been worried about what other people think of me. Whether I'm doing something they dislike etc but this year i figure screw it! It's about time i start doing what "I" want and not what other people think i should do. I've come to the realisation that some people will always be judgemental and criticise those around them. I've chosen to not let it get to me. This is my life and I'm the one who deals with the consequences should i make a bad decision. I'll learn from it and move on, i always do. I have some amazing supportive friends that are there for me, through the good and the bad decisions in my life, without fail i know i can lean on them if i need to. But it's the negative people that can't help but pick at something your doing, and tell you they think you're crazy or shouldn't be doing it.

At the end of the day, my decisions only really affect myself and my children. And of course whoever else is involved at the time. Don't get me wrong, i'm not about to go out and start making split second decisions, without first giving it some thought. I'm not living that much on the edge, i just figure i'm going to stop worrying about what other people think and say and just do things because I want to and feel its the right thing for me right now. It might all fail and i'll come crashing back down and have to pick myself up, or it could all work out and i'll be glad i did it. Only time will tell :-) Now it's time to think about me, and less about everyone else.

One of them weeks

Have you ever had one of them weeks where nothing goes right, no matter how hard you try? That would be me this week. No matter what I do or how hard I try, everything sucks. Everyone that knows me, knows that I’m not a negative, down in the dumps kind of person… rarely am I ever like this, but there’s been so much crap that’s been piled on me this past week, I’ve crumbled under the pressure. I try to be positive, but that’s not working. Everything keeps going wrong.

Firstly, the drama with my mother and sister. I guess it’d been building for a while and my best friend and her husband have known exactly how much I’d been holding back and been walked over… they were amazed I hadn’t broken before now. Then there’s been money dramas, I’ve got bills coming out of everywhere and considering moving house soon, I’m somehow going to have to find more money to do that. I started burning dinner tonight as I walked away for only a minute – thankfully the smoke alarm didn’t start blaring crazily. I made cupcakes tonight for Kailee’s school lunches and they didn’t even cook completely, I made the icing and put too much milk in it and had to fix that too. Kailee was STILL awake an hour past bedtime, telling me she couldn’t go to sleep – Um, maybe if you didn’t keep coming out of your bed Miss Muffet you would be sleeping lol. Xavier had gotten onto the computer while I was making dinner and pressed goodness knows what and my screen wouldn’t work. Well it was working, but once Windows had loaded, all I could see what a plain black screen unless i was in Safe Mode. After stressing for a while and not wanting to even be near the computer, I did a system restore from safe mode and thankfully my computer is back to normal *phew*. And as I’m typing this, Xavier has woken up and is crying from his bed. For the past few days he’s been sleeping right through the night without waking and crying. *sigh* Poor Matt is sick too at the moment and I feel like there’s nothing I can do to help. I feel useless. He hasn’t been his happy self and I try not to take it personally if he seems annoyed at me for something as trivial as talking while he’s watching TV. I haven’t seen much of him this weekend but hopefully he’s feeling better soon and we’ll get some quality time to spend together. (I <3 u hunni!!)

My amazing best friend, Serena has been worrying about how I’ve been coping, I guess because she can’t be close by. It’s times like these I feel that void that being away from her leaves…. but we’re only a phone call apart. I can tell her anything, everything. I know she worries about some things I unload on her when we talk, and I try to tell her I’m ok, but she doesn’t buy it. She knows when something just isn’t right. She’s been there for the good times in my life and she’s been there to see me crash and burn. Her dedication never fails. She’s the one person I can rely on and know that she’s always going to be there when I need her. I don’t want her to worry, but I know she does it because she cares. So after talking on the phone tonight and having her literally nearly wet herself laughing at how much of an epic fail my cooking was, I’m feeling a little bit better. (Let me just say, I can cook, usually lol For some reason though, tonight no matter what I tried, it sucked.)

So here’s hoping when I finally crawl into bed tonight all the disappointments from this past week will be gone and I’ll wake up with a more positive outlook on a new week One can only hope anyway.

A new look and new name

Since my attitude to pretty much everything has changed over the past few months, i felt my blog needed a new look - and a new name, now "Loved by Three". I even decided to go through all the messing around that goes with getting my own webpage and uploading my blog to it. Now that was a task and a half. While i've known a little about html and css coding, i've certainly learnt a bunch more over the past 2 or 3 days. Here i was (crazily) thinking it would be a piece of cake, and now i have learnt there is ALOT of tweaking involved. I'm mentally exhausted now lol. Google has become my best friend through this whole process and i have surely become more appreciative of those nerdy guys and girls that get paid to create webpages for people and businesses. This stuff is over my head!!

Anyhow, hopefully everyone likes the new look and the new name. I'm off to find fun and exciting things to blog about. xx

I have legs!

I have always known that i have legs, but now i can feel it. Every little move i make hurts. Its been about 2yrs since i last went to the gym so my first session back on Thursday was a killer. I knew I'd feel it afterwards, but oh my goodness, i feel pain in places i didn't remember could hurt. My arms, legs, knees n even chest hurts. No pain no gain right? I swear i don't even feel this sore after 2 nights of zumba. Walking down just a couple of steps is now a horrendous task. I know it'll be good after a couple of weeks at the gym and i won't be feeling nearly as bad as i do now, but at this point i'd like to stay in bed until my muscles stop hurting.

I have such great intentions of going back and working my butt off again on Monday so i really hope my legs are feeling a little less sore. It'll be interesting to see how Xavier copes in the childminding - poor little guy hates being away from him Mummy.

And the childishness continues...

Most people who know me know that i come from a large family, while my mother had 3 kids my dad had 11. So my previous post about family could have meant either of my 5 sisters...i have no need to mention names, or to be spiteful in that manner. I'm trying to be the mature adult here since no one else seems to be at the moment.

My house phone rang at 11.50pm last nite while both the kids and i were sleeping. The answering machine kicked in and the caller (forementioned family member) nastily demanded i call them back. Not at this hour i won't. I text back n said my 2 kids were sleeping and not to call again at this hour. So what does this person do? Calls my mobile. Telling me to take down one of my blogs or I'll be in trouble with the police for defamation. For starters hunni, i didn't once mention ur name and i doubt they'll care about little me's blog. Again, she accuses me of lying, n carries on like a complete bogan even going as far as to threaten to come around and punch me in the face. Yeah, like that's real mature.

It's no wonder i want nothing to do with them and want to protect my kids from being exposed to that. I used to think my family was pretty awesome, now i see its just messed up. I'm above all that crap though and won't let it drag me down. My life is too good at the moment to let a select few ruin it for me.