Poor Aileen :-(

Unfortunately, during the night my little sister had to make the decision to turn her son's life support machines off. He had bleeding on his brain and i'm not completely sure of the circumstances, but they made the decision to let him go be with his brother Isaac in heaven.

I cannot imagine the pain and sadness that must be consuming her at the moment, especially having been through this tragedy before. After being able to look at her little boy for 2 days and spend time with him, touching him. I can't beging to fathom having to say goodbye and letting go as a mother. My heart is broken for her and her partner, Anson. This is every parents worst nightmare - especially having to do it not just once, but twice.

I don't know what to do, or say... i know that nothing is going to make it better, or take the pain away for them. I'll try calling her tomorrow just so she knows that she has the support and love around her that she needs, but if she doesnt feel up to talking thats completely understandable. I'm not sure i'd be ready to talk to anyone if i was in her shoes.

I can't believe this has happened again to her. It blows my mind that some ppl recklessly keep having children, knowing the children will have medical issues, or will be born dangerously early.... and fortunately for them, they have wonderful and healthy babies that continue to grow and thrive. The only thing my sister ever wanted was for her son to be okay and for her to not have to go through losing another child.... she'd only told me days ago how scared she was of this happening again. Part of me gets so mad that our family has been through enough this year and to see people in other areas of my life thrive on their own drama.

Over the past 2 years, Aileen has already had to bury her son Isaac; we've lost our little brother Douglas, killed in August this year; our brother Jody is still in jail and now baby Henry has passed away. It's not fair for so much heartache to be dealt to one person. I just want to be there for her, hug her and tell her it's going to be okay. Though it will probably be a long time before any of it feels okay for her.

2011 just plain sucks!!! Other than meeting Matt in January, nothing good has really come from this year and i can't wait for it to be over. Surely it can't get any worse than this?!

R.I.P. Henry John Richardson/Reid
26.11.11 - 28.11.11

Mama's big boy

A week ago i decided to start potty training Xavier and surprisingly He picked it up straight away and hasn't had a single accident. He'll even take his nappy off to wee on the grass lol gotta get him in the big Toilet now! I thought we'd struggle and it'd take a while for him to learn but He was Obviously ready to transition out of nappies. He's still in them when we go in public but soon he'll be in undies most the time. I'm so proud of him for adjusting so well.

2011: mostly bad, rarely good

Nearly a year ago my best friend Serena and i commented that 2011 has GOT to be better than 2010. I think we jinxed everything and didn't think it was possible but this year sucks even worse than last year Did!

So far my little brother has been killed, my best friends family dealt some horrendous news and now just yesterday my little sister had her son 13wks early. After already having a baby at 21wks and giving birth to a stillborn son this was What she feared most. Giving birth at nearly 27wks. Thankfully There's a good chance bub will survive and grow big and strong!

While the year mostly sucked there has been a couple of good things happen. . . I met Matt and got in contact with my little sister for the first time in her life (nearly 14yrs). But we all know the bad seems to far outweigh the good. . . And i just want a better year for 2012 but won't hold my breath.

moving forward

It's been so long since I've written anything. . . I'm feeling pretty darn slack.

So much is happening, I'm too exhausted to blog let alone scratch myself. I signed up for a speedy 5wk course to get my Certificate II Business. It's the beginning of week 4 and I'm finished! Yay! I have 3 days of work experience ahead of me in the office of family daycare, which I'm pretty excited about. Nervous too but it's bound to get me back into the swing of things so i can get a real job. It feels nice to finally do something for me and better myself just a little bit more. I've even applied for a few awesome jobs, so I'm pretty excited bout trying.

Xavier is now in daycare 3 days a week (through family daycare) and He loves it! I'm sure He doesn't mind getting away from mummy for a bit and playing with all the other kids. His daycare mum is a lovely lady and doesn't cost me an arm and a leg either thankfully.

Kailee's enjoying school, flying along with everything from reading to maths. She has a few junior choir performances coming up which she's excited about. We'll go and watch her sing her little heart out. I even bought her a cute Santa hat to wear which she was impressed with. Gotta love How easily pleased kids are sometimes.

Christmas is fast approaching and I'm stressed. So much to organise in under 6wks. I swear i need to be better organised next year - tho I'm pretty sure i say that every year. Maybe in 2012 it will happen, fingers crossed. Both the kids are getting new bikes so Hopefully that keeps them busy and outta my hair for a while. One can dream right?

I think That's about all That's been happening with us. So until i next time when i get a chance to breathe, I'll call it a night. I'm off to dream about black forest cake pops which I'm gonna attempt tomorrow with kailee. Hopefully i don't mess them up too much.