Wanna know how I really feel?

while u were away u were all i could think of. My heart broke not having u here to talk to or hug. We barely spoke at all until our half hour phone call Each nite which half the time ended in us disagreeing. I was so excited all day knowing that tonite i would see u and be able to hug u even if Its just for 2 nites. The only time u seemed happy once u got home was the first few minutes when u gave me a hug and a kiss them u had ur first dig at me about being on the computer as usual. I'm hardly on the computer! Then u had another dig saying kailee's always sick. Cut the poor kid a break. I didn't ask about gladstone so u were sh!tty. No matter What i Did it was wrong and pissed u off. Kailee's having nightmares and u think she's getting them from reading the bible. For goodness sake. I love u more than u could ever comprehend but i can't keep being treated like this. You say u love me but this isn't love. This is hurtful. I'm not claiming to be perfect, I'm sure There's times i hurt u too but it can't be this often. I feel like u didn't want to come home and only Did it cuz u had to. U haven't been happy since u've been back and no matter How much i try nothing changes that. You said i didn't trust u while u were away - my god i have never trusted anyone more than i trust u. I've never gone out of my way so much for someone before. I wonder if u'd even care if i left. I don't think it would bother u either way. There'll always be another girl eventually that will worship the ground u walk on. At least u wouldn't be left to raise someone else's "trophies". It breaks my heart that only yesterday i was telling a friend that ur the one i want to settle down with and one day marry and tonite I've thought leaving. I can't take much more of this. I'm not ur slave I'm not ur mum, I'm ur girlfriend. The love of ur life supposedly.