One thing that really bothers me is people who pretend to be your friend when they are really only friends with you, in order to gain something for themselves. Last week i went through my Facebook friends list and deleted all the people in my life that 1. I don't talk to enough to share my 'life' with them online; and 2. are only around when they want something from me, but are nowhere to be seen when I need something. I'm a pretty independent person and will rarely ask for help, or anything really. If I can't do something for myself, then I'll swallow my pride and ask for help. It's something I hate doing, so I'll avoid it if I can.
I don't get how some people though are so comfortable in asking for help from everyone around them. Does it just become so much of a habit, that it comes as naturally as breathing? Do they realise how sad and pathetic it makes them look?
A year ago I became friends with this girl who was a lot like me. Single mum with 2 kids, living on her own etc and we got along great, I thought we'd be really good friends as we had much the same experiences in life and the same attitude when it come to drama, experiences etc. That was until she seemed to only ever visit when she needed help with something on the computer, she needed me to print something out for her sister or she needed to use the phone to contact her ex or sort out some centrelink/child support issue. Months and months went by without seeing each other (we only live a few houses down from one another) and she made a comment to me about catching up. I told her that would be nice as I only ever seemed to see her when she needed something like using the phone, net or a babysitter. I don't think she believed me lol. I'd invite her over and wait at home for her to show up, and she wouldn't. So I stopped waiting. I stopped making the effort and not surprisingly, she didn't make an effort either. If we see each other in town we'll stop and do the whole "hi, how are you? how's the kids? what's been happening?" spiel and then go about our own business. If she drives or walks past we'll half-heartedly wave at one another. Nothing sincere, realistically we're not friends. Friends are there for one another.... friendship is like any relationship - it's a 2 way street of give AND take. Not just one of them. I'm not distraught over the friendship lost, there wasn't much there to begin with, and I'm over the whole pretending. I'm over being soft and letting people walk all over me, so now I've cut ties with friendships that have only ever been one way streets. I don't need them.
Probably even worse would have to be my neighbours, I have gone above and beyond to help them out. Struggling single mums as well, I've looked after their kids so they could do shopping, work out stuff with their ex, have a quiet nite to themselves, cooked them dinner when I knew they were short on food, loaned them money, bought them groceries if they needed it before payday and even let them use my washing machine for months, since they didn't have one. And all i got out of it was a big fat nothing. I don't expect anything back for helping people - I like helping!! - but a simple Thank You would be fantastic!! In all honesty, I haven't heard a single "Hello" or "Lets catch up for coffee" like I used to nearly everyday.... now they have their new washing machine, they have no need for me. *shrugs* Oh well, no great loss for me. At least now I don't have the kids coming over (almost daily) asking to borrow something, or to record some show on tv, or to use the net. I'm free and don't feel obliged to help them. If they struggle now, they have one less person to lean on.... because I won't be there next time. My life seems so relaxed now - less drama, less bitching, less stress.
I'm sure I probably still have a few people in my life still that are pushing the limits of our friendship.... and with time they too may find themselves with one less friend. I'm not bothered though, I have my own rubbish to deal with and I don't need half-assed friends dragging me into their dramas. I feel mostly relieved though that I have weaned these kinds of people out of my life though, I should've done it a long time ago.
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