Last night, while talking on the phone to my best friend, Serena, trying to find a photo from my baby shower when I was pregnant with my son Xavier I came across some photos that seriously need deleting. You know the photos of people you forgot you had, and then happen to stumble across. I had one of these moments tonight when I found a photo of my ex and something along the lines of "WTF was I thinking?!" came out of my mouth. Serena didn't have to say anything, I already knew what she was thinking - this was something she'd already asked herself AND me a couple of years ago. I quickly deleted the 2 shocking photos that were quickly ruining all the other photos of Kailee's 4th birthday party - and have decided that I seriously need to go through all of my photos and delete any and all photos of him that I have, that don't include Kailee.
With the exception of my son, nothing good came out of that time in my life. I was miserable and too weak to admit that I needed to leave, let alone actually walk out. At the time I thought I was in love and happy but looking back, I wasn't happy at all and I don't think I really knew what love was. I was naive and believed things too easily, and soon found myself on my own again with Kailee, and pregnant with Xavier. I was a mess and it took me a while to pick myself back up and start rebuilding my life. Those people close to me had front row seats to the mess that was my life and although they tried to help, it was up to me to fix things for myself. It took time and a lot of it. I didn't know if I could ever trust someone with my heart again.... but looking back now, I can see it all played a part in moulding the person I am now. Although my life is back together, the cracks are still there - but they show character and I'm happy to say, my heart now belongs to someone amazing. But that's another blog again....
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